Sex and the Ivy

Men Suck. Harvard Men Swallow.

Filed under: Dating/Relationships, Men — Elle September 30, 2006 @ 10:20 pm

At Harvard, one out of ten likes other men. I know more gay guys willing to go shopping with me than straight guys willing to take me out to dinner.

This is really depressing. And I’m even a cheap date. Really.

Now let’s address the issue of men who suck. A few random anecdotes (about a few random people) from the past week demonstrating how much I hate the social scene at this school:

1. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl hook up. Boy and girl like each other. Boy cancels on her repeatedly due to extracurricular commitments and is in general an unavailable fuck.
2. Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy meets other girl at a certain sketchy final club and hooks up with her. Boy wakes up next to girl he’s not in love with and pushes her out of bed at 5 fucking a.m.
3. Boy meets girl. Boy tries to hook up with girl while drunk. Girl says no. Boy tries again. And again. Boy guilt trips girl for not hooking up with him. Boy can cry me a river.

And my personal favorite: Girl meets boy. Boy piques girl’s interest. Girl doesn’t hook up with boy while they’re drunk because she thinks that would be a real shit idea. Boy doesn’t get it, assumes she’s not into him, and gives up.

I know people read this thing, so enlighten me. What is wrong with Harvard? Our school is the place where virgins go to die virgins.

Thank god I lost it in high school.

3 Responses to “Men Suck. Harvard Men Swallow.”

  1. Frances Says:

    I sometimes wish I were a gay man. My love life would be so much easier. I don’t think I’ve fallen for a straight man since coming to Harvard. Seriously.

  2. allison Says:

    you should go to Penn for parties on the weekends. or during the week. actually pretty much every day there is some sort of stupid party. and you would definitely get laid. i guarantee it because almost everyone here (at least those who go to parties) is a whore. i guess it’s the opposite of harvard. there is no dating scene, there is the hook-up scene, wherein people get drunk and sleep together and then are lucky if they remember each other’s names. i’m really glad i spent my time there in a committed relationship with someone from another university, so i didn’t partake in such caligula-esque culture.

  3. StallionJack Says:

    Why do you girls have to limit yourself to the Harvard boys? Why not go for professional men in the real world who have more experience and maturity, and apparently, testosterone, than the Harvard geeks. Heck, if there is such a shortage of quality men at Harvard maybe I should move there and let the quality women join my harem. ;-)

    As far as your first scenario is concerned, once a girl hooks up with a guy, the guy is going to lose interest in her. He has another notch in his belt and he’s going to move on to the next chick who’d be willing to hook up and give away her pussy as if it is some kind of pamphlet. It may be unfair but that’s how most guys are. Except me, of course. ;-)

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