At Harvard, one out of ten likes other men. I know more gay guys willing to go shopping with me than straight guys willing to take me out to dinner.
This is really depressing. And I’m even a cheap date. Really.
Now let’s address the issue of men who suck. A few random anecdotes (about a few random people) from the past week demonstrating how much I hate the social scene at this school:
1. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl hook up. Boy and girl like each other. Boy cancels on her repeatedly due to extracurricular commitments and is in general an unavailable fuck.
2. Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy meets other girl at a certain sketchy final club and hooks up with her. Boy wakes up next to girl he’s not in love with and pushes her out of bed at 5 fucking a.m.
3. Boy meets girl. Boy tries to hook up with girl while drunk. Girl says no. Boy tries again. And again. Boy guilt trips girl for not hooking up with him. Boy can cry me a river.
And my personal favorite: Girl meets boy. Boy piques girl’s interest. Girl doesn’t hook up with boy while they’re drunk because she thinks that would be a real shit idea. Boy doesn’t get it, assumes she’s not into him, and gives up.
I know people read this thing, so enlighten me. What is wrong with Harvard? Our school is the place where virgins go to die virgins.
Thank god I lost it in high school.