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A Matter of Taste: Shameless Personals
Readers, this entry requires your active participation. Especially if you’re boys. My blockmates and I were discussing our taste in men this evening and we realized that we (luckily) don’t share too many commonalities in that arena. In fact, each of us has kind of carved out her own niche. Unfortunately, we’ve all been suffering from lack of play as of late. Email one of these lusty ladies if you fit their standard.
BLOCKMATES
MAGGIE
maggie@sexandtheivy.com
Prior history. White (mostly), tall (always).
Gotta be. Fun but slightly reserved. Athlete but not jock.
Don’t even try if … you’re a frat boy.
TERRA
terra@sexandtheivy.com
Prior history. White (usually), tall (always).
Gotta be. Chivalry a must. Gentlemen please. The Brit’s got class.
Don’t even try if … you don’t have money.
SUE
sue@sexandtheivy.com
Prior history. One word: Asian.
Gotta be. The quintessential nice guy for the Californian sweetie.
Don’t even try if … you’re a stoner.
JB
jb@sexandtheivy.com
Prior history. Jewish, please. Gay, obviously.
Gotta be. Soul optional. Tops only.
Don’t even try if … you’ve got melanin.
GAL PALS
KAY
kay@sexandtheivy.com
Prior history. Brown, skinny, undeserving.
Gotta be. Less awkward than the predecessors. Willing to go to coffee, really.
Don’t even try if … you’re in a final club.
ADIA
adia@sexandtheivy.com
Prior history. Kosher meat only.
Gotta be. Eager to spoil, willing to wait. This gal’s flower ain’t gonna be plucked.
Don’t even try if … you’re not Jewish.
INDIANA
indiana@sexandtheivy.com
Prior history. Big and black.
Gotta be. Built with endurance to spare. She’s got a queen-sized bed and a Quad single.
Don’t even try if … you’re otherwise committed.
AND OBVIOUSLY …
ELLE
elle@sexandtheivy.com
Prior history. Older, taller, whiter. Everything I’m not.
Gotta be. Liberal, well-endowed, and emotionally available (please). Masochistic enough to date me.
Don’t even try if … you don’t want to be blogged about.
Boys, start your engines. Email these gals now.
For the readers out there who aren’t interested in responding, leave in the comments what your ideal partner is. I’m interested in finding out. Let’s not get PC here. Be honest. If you don’t dig the brown boys, own up (ahem, Maggie). If you don’t dig the white ones, ditto (ahem, Jess). Ready, set, go.
October 19th, 2006 at 3:42 am
ARON
aron@sexandtheivy.com
Prior history. Midwestern Trash.
Gotta be. Also must be masochistic enough to handle my shit and able to detach from constant melodramatic crap
Don’t even try if. you’re fat
October 19th, 2006 at 11:22 am
wow, all this desparation makes me glad i’ve been spared the college dating scene. actually, my undergrad ivy doesn’t really have a “dating” scene as much as a “random hook-up, walk of shame, try to forget that night of substance abuse and sloppy sex” scene. [let's go quakers!]
anyway. i met my fiance through an organization in which we were both members, back in high school (and for some reason or another, it’s still working today). i think that’s a good way to meet people, through a mutual interest, rather than trolling the bars and clubs for a piece of ass. also, if you’re so picky that you need someone specific (i.e. Jewish, gay, etc) then you can rest assured if you go somewhere that caters to those people (i.e. Hillel party, LGBT activity, etc). but don’t limit yourself. my other half is not what i would have expected, at all (my history had been slightly sleazy white guys, and he happens to be a well-educated and polite black man). so don’t forget, you can think outside the box… especially if your goal is to get someone into your box…
October 19th, 2006 at 12:06 pm
C
Prior history: Players, players, players.
Gotta be: Sweet, intelligent, and interested in more than a hook-up.
Don’t even try if: super religious or super political.
…love you, Elle. Been meaning to comment for ages. I wish my life was half as interesting as yours. Don’t let them get you down.
What is it with the dating scene here anyway? Or should I say, lack of dating scene?
October 19th, 2006 at 12:58 pm
“If you don’t dig the white ones, ditto (ahem, Jess).”
Hahaha! Could that possibly be a reference to… moi? ;-)
All right, I’ll own up: I like a little coffee for my cream, so to speak. It’s not a “racial” preference per se — it’s just that caramel skin is just so… yummy.
My dating history? Hispanic, Indian, Chinese, Arab, Jewish. And never a WASP. Geez, my sex life is like a United Colors of Bennetton ad!
Also, I’ll fess: “bohemian, artsy” types do nothing for me. Give me a consultant type with a head on his shoulders any day — I’ve got enough tragic artsy-fartsy-ness for the two of us, ya heard? Does this make me a gold digger? You tell me, Kanye.
Oh, and kinkiness? A must. Or at least, the willingness to explore.
October 19th, 2006 at 5:31 pm
Prior history: emotionally unavailable assholes from … wow, pretty much every corner of the world now that I think about it …
Gotta be: KSG or GSAS. I’m thinkin’ German, I’m thinkin’ engineer.
Don’t even try: if you’re HBS
October 19th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
smacks of desperation, let me describe 90% of men under the age of 30.
Horny Man
Prior History. I takes what I can gets
Gotta be. vagina-check, boobs-check….lets do this!!
Dont even try if…buck 50 or over (exception: unless I am drunk and my friends arent around to find out).
clearly you can see men arent all that picky, so I would suggest widening your social circle beyond ivy league pretentious assholes. Or, God forbid you are the exception, corner a drunk once you see his friends leave him alone.
happy hunting.
October 20th, 2006 at 5:48 pm
Prior history: Aryan boys with alluring Southern accents, Northeastern prep school swimmers run amok in college, blond midwestern mansluts
Gotta be: WASPy with a penchant for dinners out and a wicked pong serve
Don’t even try if: you don’t have the requisite ibanking job all lined up for after graduation
October 21st, 2006 at 6:39 am
wow, this post is insanely awesome. :) i love this! :D
October 21st, 2006 at 9:53 am
Prior history: straight guys.
gotta be: sub-28 and sweet.
don’t even try if: all it took were a ‘don’t even try if’ to make you stop trying, you pussy.
November 9th, 2006 at 8:52 pm
Some of you girls still don’t understand guys. If easy hook-ups are available most guys are going to keep moving from one to the next no matter what they say or convince you of to get inside your panties. That’s reality. So if you don’t want the post-hook-up heartbreak don’t hook-up with every Tom, Dick and Harry. Remember, Easy come, Easy Go! If it’s so easy to get pussy, it’s not of much value in the long run. That’s how guys are programmed to think by nature. Now don’t hate the Messenger. Learn something here because I only speak the truth.
August 19th, 2007 at 12:52 am
[...] I’ve been gabbing lately with my nouveau gal-pal/sex-blogger Elle over at Sex and the Ivy, whom has taken on the Sisyphean task of playing Asian Ivy League yenta for her Harvard girlfriends. At the end of her schpiel for each Crimson co-ed, she implores the rest of us to describe our own tastes in men. We had privately griped about our success (or lack thereof) with Ivy boys, so when she ended with: [...]