For starters, check out these guys who are posting atrocious comments on a law school admissions forum. Some genius thought that sending me the link to this forum would be so badass of him. I may be technologically impaired, but I know enough to run a blog. I certainly know where my incoming links are coming from, asshole. Besides the cheap shots about how I look, check out the blatant racism:
“Who are the H losers who have to lower themselves to this girl? You’d think good looking white dudes would have better opportunities, even at H.”
“She’s an average-looking azn girl but has fucked tons of white guys. She lists them here: http://sexandtheivy.com/cast-of-characters/“
“In the section, “Boy Toys” she talks about all the big white cocks she’s encountered”
“Seriously, I fully support the female infanticides in Asia. Fuck these Asian whores.”
“i love how basically every azn girl thinks white dudes are huuuuuuge after they’ve been with a few. in my experience, this has actually been true. that said, this girl is an ugly slut and i wouldnt bone her but i would let her blow my huge white member.”
“aa admit from tonga?” [as in, "affirmative action admit" and "the island of tonga in the pacific"]
And via email from one of the forum members: “no one is trying to provoke you. just wanted to let you know how the white guys that fuck u see u. there is nothing empowering about what u do.”
Besides blanket assumptions about who I fuck (for the record: plenty who are neither necessarily white nor Ivy League-educated), the posts are written under names like “WhitePride” and “John McNigger.” Again, these are excerpts from a law school admissions forum. Anyone who says Asians don’t deal with racism needs to wake up and smell the sideways pussy. This is our future justice system, kids.
I’m really not one to bitch. I have posted hate mail exactly once and got slammed because I was “stooping” to that level. With the number of people passing judgment on my life, I think responding to a couple is perfectly justified. You try dealing with hundreds who don’t think you deserve to be treated with basic decency.
I don’t get bothered by most hate mail because I assume that those writing aren’t my peers, who I consider significantly more enlightened than the general population (i.e. those who voted for Bush). But the quotes from this forum are actually from people close to me in age and education, people you’d expect better from. Racism, more than the comments about my appearance and morals, is probably what bothers me most. I don’t like getting called fat or ugly, but I get used to it because I live in a superficial society. That’s a fact I’ve come to accept. A bigoted society, however, is a far harder reality to cope with.
An ex-boyfriend asked me today, “What did you expect with what you were writing?” I was infuriated by his reaction to what I thought was unacceptable behavior. But he’s really just one of many people who have posed the same question (albeit less bluntly), a question that I don’t know if I can answer. When it comes down to it, I don’t think I’m that controversial and I still hesitate to call myself a sex blogger. I write about relationships, emotions, insecurities, lovers (former and current), ambitions, friends - the basics of life and the basis of life. I write about a lot of things and sex is just one of them, but sex is what gets me recognized and criticized. Race is just the next logical point of attack.
I tell my friends that I never anticipated the rewards nor the backlash to going on the record about what goes on in my bedroom. But on some level, I think I expected that this would be the result. When you hold low standards — for guys or for humanity — it’s hard to feel let down. Yet still, I do.