Sex and the Ivy

Decency (or What I Don’t Deserve)

Filed under: Hate Mail, Race — Elle January 25, 2007 @ 12:22 am

For starters, check out these guys who are posting atrocious comments on a law school admissions forum. Some genius thought that sending me the link to this forum would be so badass of him. I may be technologically impaired, but I know enough to run a blog. I certainly know where my incoming links are coming from, asshole. Besides the cheap shots about how I look, check out the blatant racism:

“Who are the H losers who have to lower themselves to this girl? You’d think good looking white dudes would have better opportunities, even at H.”

“She’s an average-looking azn girl but has fucked tons of white guys. She lists them here: http://sexandtheivy.com/cast-of-characters/

“In the section, “Boy Toys” she talks about all the big white cocks she’s encountered”

“Seriously, I fully support the female infanticides in Asia. Fuck these Asian whores.”

“i love how basically every azn girl thinks white dudes are huuuuuuge after they’ve been with a few. in my experience, this has actually been true. that said, this girl is an ugly slut and i wouldnt bone her but i would let her blow my huge white member.”

“aa admit from tonga?” [as in, "affirmative action admit" and "the island of tonga in the pacific"]

And via email from one of the forum members: “no one is trying to provoke you. just wanted to let you know how the white guys that fuck u see u. there is nothing empowering about what u do.”

Besides blanket assumptions about who I fuck (for the record: plenty who are neither necessarily white nor Ivy League-educated), the posts are written under names like “WhitePride” and “John McNigger.” Again, these are excerpts from a law school admissions forum. Anyone who says Asians don’t deal with racism needs to wake up and smell the sideways pussy. This is our future justice system, kids.

I’m really not one to bitch. I have posted hate mail exactly once and got slammed because I was “stooping” to that level. With the number of people passing judgment on my life, I think responding to a couple is perfectly justified. You try dealing with hundreds who don’t think you deserve to be treated with basic decency.

I don’t get bothered by most hate mail because I assume that those writing aren’t my peers, who I consider significantly more enlightened than the general population (i.e. those who voted for Bush). But the quotes from this forum are actually from people close to me in age and education, people you’d expect better from. Racism, more than the comments about my appearance and morals, is probably what bothers me most. I don’t like getting called fat or ugly, but I get used to it because I live in a superficial society. That’s a fact I’ve come to accept. A bigoted society, however, is a far harder reality to cope with.

An ex-boyfriend asked me today, “What did you expect with what you were writing?” I was infuriated by his reaction to what I thought was unacceptable behavior. But he’s really just one of many people who have posed the same question (albeit less bluntly), a question that I don’t know if I can answer. When it comes down to it, I don’t think I’m that controversial and I still hesitate to call myself a sex blogger. I write about relationships, emotions, insecurities, lovers (former and current), ambitions, friends - the basics of life and the basis of life. I write about a lot of things and sex is just one of them, but sex is what gets me recognized and criticized. Race is just the next logical point of attack.

I tell my friends that I never anticipated the rewards nor the backlash to going on the record about what goes on in my bedroom. But on some level, I think I expected that this would be the result. When you hold low standards — for guys or for humanity — it’s hard to feel let down. Yet still, I do.

24 Responses to “Decency (or What I Don’t Deserve)”

  1. Liz Says:

    Lena,
    I have to say that I’m sorry that you don’t take those guys seriously. As far as the racial comments go, that is atrocious, however, there is merit in what they are trying to say. You are not taking a stand against anything, and you are not proving anything to anyone except demonstrating the awful demoralization that this country has been spiraling into. I don’t think you understand that people think you are a joke, and when you run out of men to sleep with, the only thing you will be left with is an std. Please don’t make any more generalizations about women at Harvard or women in general because I am proud to say that I, and none of my friends, are nothing like you.

  2. Jessica Says:

    “because I am proud to say that I, and none of my friends, are nothing like you.”

    So what exactly does that mean, Liz? I’d love to know what you think Lena represents, and what is so atrocious about that.

    Why are you proud of not being like Lena? Your premises fascinate me.

  3. Alice Says:

    Right on, Liz!

    Though, really, who cares?

  4. bbb Says:

    Right. The thread is indecent. But this blog is.

  5. Elle Says:

    Liz — I’m trying to wrap my head around what you wrote because you’re a WOMAN who thinks that those guys have actually said something of “merit”. Let’s clarify:
    1. They’re racist.

    Mmm, yeah. I think that pretty much discredits everything. But since you brought up other points, let’s address them:
    1. “You are not taking a stand against anything” — You’re right. I’m not. I write a blog. You know, like a diary? I don’t think my girl talk is going to lead no revolution, darling.
    2. “Demonstrating the awful demoralization that this country has been spiraling into” — No, I think the racist law students are doing a fine job on their own.
    3. “You are a joke.” — Am I a funny one?
    4. “When you run out of men to sleep with …” — Don’t worry, there’s always women. Like you!
    5. “… the only thing you will be left with is an std.” — What an original insult. Actually, no, I won’t have any STDs because I’m OCD about sexual health.
    6. “Please don’t make any more generalizations about women at Harvard or women in general …” — Honey, I haven’t. And please don’t make any more assumptions about me.
    7. “I am proud to say that I, and none of my friends, are nothing like you.” — I’m proud that I’m not friends with someone who employs double negatives.

  6. T Says:

    Look. don’t bitch about racism when your site boasts a list of the racial preferences of you and your roommates for dating purposes. racism isn’t always an active process; its a reality that lives in the most people’s subconsious. and yes, the reality is that most asian whores crave white men; and most reasonably attractive white men see asian women as submissive cunts that will do anything for white dick.

  7. aznaznazn reborn Says:

    WGWAG: white girls with azn guys

  8. emmy Says:

    Hey, Lena. Sometimes, I think you are a great writer. And sometimes, I think you are running out of topics to pen so you write sub-par entries. Your online persona has also developed a bit of an ego. That said, I think you are quite talented but still finding your way. Part of the problem is that your journey is on display for all to see, rather than in front of a nurturing teacher or mentor or people with helpful comments.

    You say you aren’t a sex blogger now, yet in the past you have worn that label as a badge. You’ve said before that you just so happen to put your personal thoughts and feelings into a public domain. Please understand that this opens you up to criticism: people who disagree with your lifestyle, people who are jealous, people who are just mean-spirited to begin with, etc. Notoriety comes with a gamut of responses.

    I’m sure you’re aware of all this. But I just wanted to add my two cents.

    Also, those racist comments are completely out of line and despicable. I’m sorry you had to deal with those.

  9. Elle Says:

    T: There’s a difference between writing sarcastic personal ads and flinging around racial slurs. I call my roommate “melanin-averse”; I do not brandish swastikas.

    As for your “reality,” I think you’d be surprised to find that “most asian whores” and “most reasonably attractive white men” probably disagree with you.

  10. T Says:

    really. i went to harvard not so long ago; and that’s how every asian bitch and loserish white guy was then. maybe it’s changed drastically in the last 4 years, but i doubt it. one exception doesn’t destroy a generalization about 95% of asian whores.

  11. lala Says:

    what website tracker do you use

  12. T Says:

    Answer this question: do you or do you not have a preference for fucking white men? don’t think about other asian whores. think about yourself. then ask yourself what racism is. if u you limit it to people that are willing to make a joking slur for humorous purposes on a message board, i don’t think you’re looking in the right place.

  13. John McNigger Says:

    I had no involvement with this fiasco and demand an immediate retraction.

  14. Sam Jackson Says:

    Oh hey look more hateful remarks in the comments. I am shocked and surprised. I wonder why all these people read your site if they hate you so much. Because they find you ‘funny’ or something? Yeah, right– No, literacy is too expensive in time and opportunity costs even for bored college students on that basis alone… it’s just a shame people don’t look more for the value that your blog presents them!

    Lena: You have an audience, you -could- use it for more than just the cathartic benefits it might impart. My reasoning behind reading is that it reveals lots about Harvard as well as life in general, but maybe that’s an excuse for voyeurism. Who knows!

    Also, I think the main issue people took with that last round of hate-mail response was not just the acknowledgment / posting of the hate mail, but the _manner_ in which you responded–that you stooped to the level of your attacker by attacking him back on a similarly petty level. C’mon, high level witty insults, if there need be any at all.

    I’m not sure why you would expect society to not be bigoted.. prejudice is everywhere, sometimes just more hidden than others. After all, even on the superficial–that’s a prejudice right there.

    o.O

  15. Just Saying Says:

    Look, I don’t know you nor will I pretend that I know you. That said, are you really surprised by this? When the average person sees a college girl that posts her sex life for all to see, they immediately think “hyper-sexual whore”. Fact. That doesn’t mean you are one, but that’s what people think.

    Everything on that forum is what guys are really thinking. If you see a girl that posts about hooking up with a bunch of white dudes, they think that she’s all about the white snake. Don’t tell me that you can’t find as asian dude at Harvard. To sum up, you can dislike what those guys are saying, but that’s what they’re thinking. Judging by your reaction, you were unaware of this

  16. Elle Says:

    No, T, my vagina does not have a preference for white cock. It enjoys yellow, black, brown, and purple cock just as much.

  17. Paco McDooby Says:

    You still look like Hervé Villechaize.

  18. Tatoo Says:

    I’m not saying that I agree with Paco McDooby, but watching this video in light of what’s happening with your blog made me laugh a lot.

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2172241991909590423&q=Herv%C3%A9+Villechaize&hl=en

    Sorry everyone at xoxo an asshole. Still, you shouldn’t have gotten so defensive. Rise above.

    “Why do people have to fight?”

  19. Dan Rhiel Says:

    (1) Girl publishes world wide her sex life.
    (2) Girl is criticized on the basis of her race, her poor choices and her skeazy attempt to get attention.
    (3) Girl gets pissed at (2).

    But, what you must know, and what you may realize is that (1) CAUSES (2). (2) is not a “crime” you can’t yell at someone your sexual boasts and expect NOT to get criticized.

    What you do MERITS criticism.

  20. yale07 Says:

    You write to Liz: “I’m proud that I’m not friends with someone who employs double negatives.”

    Yet a few lines above that, you say “I don’t think my girl talk is going to lead no revolution, darling.”

    You may want to stop and think about what people are saying to you (and whether it just might be true) before assuming your usual defensive posture and shooting out “witty” retorts.

  21. F.I.S.T. Says:

    Reminder: Asians are magical

    http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=18907&mc=27&forum_id=2

    with your looks, it’d take magic for any guy to date you…enjoy being a cum dumpster

  22. P.D. O'File Says:

    What’s the best part about having sex with a chubby, small-titted asian girl?

    You can slick her hair back and pretend she’s a chubby asian boy!

  23. Marcoooooo Says:

    Yea, I disagree with the racist comments, but I think the fact remains that you are:

    a) physically unappealing to the majority of men for any purpose other than instant physical gratification

    b) incredibly oblivious to the concept of restraint or good sense

    c) absurdly hypocritical and incapable of facing the truth (I’m OCD about sexual protection…except for that time a guy fucked me and left the used condom in me for 24 hours. I’m not an immoral person…except for when i have to kick a guy out so i can clean my room before fucking another one a few hours later.)

    d) unlikely to realize any of this for a very long time.

    I think it’s a shame that you act this way, and I feel bad for you and most especially, your family. Best of luck in the future.

  24. KAEP Says:

    This got ugly quickly. Personally, I just read your blog because I find it to be funny to watch you flip out because of all your craziness.

    Seriously though, you write a “sex blog” (its pretty damn light on the sex though), do you think no one will call you a whore? And do you also think the people who call you a whore won’t be kinda ignorant pieces of trash who may decide the best way to deride you is to be racist?

    Finally, admit it, you love all this attention.

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