The City of Brotherly Love

I spent eight days in Philadelphia after final exams ended in late January. Living in an off-campus apartment by Penn, I was practically a college student — just without class to attend. Did I manage to get into trouble? Not much, but here are my intercession confessions …

Jess’ 42nd St. Home

* Flew US Airways for a neat $168 roundtrip. I now have a new appreciation for Logan and LAX after experiencing Philadelphia International.

* Stayed with Jessica Haralson, the editor in chief of Penn’s erotica magazine. Besides stuffing our faces, we did way too much shopping together. We are pretty much co-dependents. Among my consignment store finds were a Laundry dress, Louis Vuitton purse, and two coats!

* Caught up with my favorite DP editor, Eric Obenzinger, over sushi at Genji and apple martinis somewhere random. No, I have not slept with him yet, though I assume the repeated inquiries mean people are cheering me on.

* Ate entirely too much sushi. Besides dining hall fare and Genji, I had highly affordable Mizu ($6 for 12 pieces is unheard of) and enjoyed the setting at Nara. Food at both was so-so but sitting shoeless on the floor at Nara (with its faux-Japanese decor) was pretty fun.

With JGH at Gay Fridays at Cliff’s

* Attended Gay Fridays at Cliff’s (GFAC), a long-standing Penn tradition and a chance for equal opportunity drunkeness. Though overrun with more friends of Converse (i.e. hipsters) than friends of Dorothy, it was nonetheless one of the better parties I’ve witnessed in recent memory. If only the cute guys weren’t after the other cute guys. Regardless, I met quite the cute girl there — too bad our schedules never aligned.

* Managed to make my relationship with Summer Guy worse. The beauty of time zones is that his California 3 a.m. is my Philadelphia 6 a.m. The beauty of alcohol is that it induces exes to accuse you of having STDs. By the end of my Philly visit, he told me that his trip to Boston was a no-go. Saw it coming.

* Passed up, tried to land, and flirted with the idea of a threesome. Despite three separate opportunities, nothing came to fruition. The mission continues …

* Hit up Naked Chocolate Cafe with Jessica and my high school pal Judy (who now attends University of the Sciences). It was Philly’s answer to LA Burdick. I think I still prefer the latter but the former comes highly recommended — chocolate lovers will go nuts at first sip. I prefer the bittersweet.

Treats at Naked Chocolate Cafe

* Had lunch at White Dog Cafe with Jennifer Glaser, the author of one of my favorite Modern Love columns. While scouring the Times for a good example of Modern Love, I reread her piece, found out Jennifer was a grad student at Penn, and immediately hunted her down. Published on my birthday this year, her essay (”Mortality Can Be A Powerful Aphrodisiac”) is about the sexual relationship between her and her dying boyfriend.

* Dragged Miss Jessica over to Pattaya for Thai cuisine, mostly because I met the owner while picking up takeout dinner and thought he ought to be dessert. Alas, he wasn’t there, but I decided to be bold and left him my number. (Okay, so he did say he had a girlfriend.)

* Despite sleeping until noon, I managed to finish and submit my first piece to The Boston Globe. We’ll see if they like my youthful perspective.

Baby’s First Cheesesteak

* Had a taste of my first Philly Cheesesteak! Jessica’s guy pal took us to his favorite tried-and-true eatery. I got the classic and finished half before calling it quits. My meal was good for the novelty but had way too much meat to become it a regular part of my diet. (Now don’t think dirty, kids.)

* Promised to swear off guys with commitmentphobia, yellow fever, and girlfriends. Failed on all accounts.

* Hung out with a pal who’s visiting Penn for a semester. She’s enrolled in the visiting student program I want to apply to. Caught up while taking a meal in the dining hall — in case you were wondering, the food is unimpressive, just like Harvard.

* Took a stroll through South St. with Jessica by my side. She gave me a tour of all the notable sex shops and I came home with a new toy — a black leather riding crop. Fun!

* Discovered a hidden love for groceries. Thanks to the fabulous proximity, Fresh Grocer became my home away from my home away from home (did that make sense?) I’ve since decided that a major supermarket must relocate to the Square.

* Had a weekend affair with Sam — acronym for Secret Agent Man. Adventures included: nursing mutual hangovers via afternoon coffee, attempting to eat dinner at 4pm (and mostly failing but settling on Indian), hitting on my bartender at Smoke’s, consuming seven spiked Shirley Temples (my new favorite drink), trying to convince him to have sex in public after the alcohol took its toll, passing out with little recollection of my whereabouts, and having way too much sex (the afternoon, evening, the morning after …) He was fun, romantic, and a gentleman. Couldn’t ask for a better or more well-endowed late-night escort.

Thoroughly enjoyed Philadelphia and all it had to offer! Adia has a pal at Penn so we’re thinking of a joint trip sometime this spring. Could be fun to hit the town with her in tow. And now that I’ve graced its streets, Philly’s love has got to be just a little less fraternal, don’t you think?