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Sexless in the City
You know your Lent resolution is in trouble when a phone conversation about Eastern philosophy gets you horny enough to start covertly masturbating. In my defense, I hadn’t heard his voice in a week, so forgive me if I felt a little frisky the other night.
With the cellular wedged between my ear and shoulder, I reached beneath my panties and found my clit with my index while continuing to mutter the requisite uh-huh’s and yes’s as his spiel went on. It’s not that I didn’t find his critique fascinating. I love his brain; I was just that much more distracted by the thought of his cock.
Besides, with the exception of that evening’s shameful behavior, sex has hardly been on my mind since I’ve returned from New York (every time I write that sentence it means less and less considering the frequency of my travels). Between producing a show (tickets on sale NOW at the box office) and finishing edits on a freelance piece, I’ve barely had time for class, much more sex. Okay, who am I kidding? Sextracurriculars always trump academics.
But that’s beside the point. Even when I have time to contemplate sex, I only treat it as a theoretical possibility. I’ve vowed to ditch all the boys of last season, thus leaving no local hookups. The only way I can have sex is if I leave Boston … which come to think of it, happens monthly anyway.
My next trip isn’t until the first weekend of my spring break. I’m flying into Philadelphia the evening of March 22nd. Adia joins me the day after and together, we shall wreak havoc through Penn and our eventual destination: New York. Until then, it’s all about getting through the very stressful month with no sexual distractions to speak of. It’s a good thing my favorite man lives over a hundred miles away…
March 1st, 2007 at 4:48 am
Hi Lena. I enjoy your blog. I would love to chat with you for a blog post I’m writing. Tried sending you a couple emails. I’m Harvard ‘81. Would you please email me at richard@brodietech.com? I think you will enjoy the conversation. :)
Richard
March 1st, 2007 at 11:43 am
So, just out of curiosity, who’s your “favorite man”?
March 1st, 2007 at 12:20 pm
It has to be that Sam guy. Right?
March 1st, 2007 at 1:07 pm
It’s definetely Sam…
That message from Richard was CREEEEEEEPPPPPPYYYYY!
March 1st, 2007 at 5:00 pm
He knows who he is.
March 1st, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Yeah… I do… :-D
March 2nd, 2007 at 12:33 pm
You’re washed up and it’s only your sophomore year of college . . .
March 2nd, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Well it sounds like you visit Sam way more than Sam visits you…he should visit you more.
March 2nd, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Ah sextracurriculars… my favorite aspect of academia. Good one. Hope you don’t mind that I might start using that term.
March 4th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Giving up sex for Lent…good luck with that! I know quite a few people who are trying. All of which are doing better than the ones that gave up cursing. LOL
How’d you keep it quiet while he spoke on Eastern Philosophy? My last covert masturbation attempt ended with me putting her on hold while I unloaded my frustration. LOL
March 5th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
Just read your last collegehumor update… You’re writing for the wrong site. The idiot who commented “It’s college humor, not Harvard humor” unfortunately sums it up perfectly: the majority of them are too dumb to understand anything except boobs and booze. They are also misogynistic assholes. The writer’s appearance obviously shouldn’t factor into critiques of anyone’s writing, but the male writers on that site somehow get away with not being funny OR attractive (exhibit A: Streeter Seidel? Ughhhh).
It hurts to think about how many of these people go to MY school, and how much they are cheapening my degree.
Keep up the good work.
March 7th, 2007 at 12:12 am
True, I second that. The columns on College Humour fucking SUCK. Absolutely, positively, the LEAST funny, LEAST creative shit I’ve ever read.
Of course, the exception is Elle’s (LC) which is a breath of fresh air. It astounds me to think that people can’t even handle it.
Is the rest of America really that dumb? If so… we’re in trouble.
March 7th, 2007 at 1:19 am
You’re inspired me to start my own blog.
March 7th, 2007 at 9:49 am
It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half- wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.
March 7th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
I’m addicted to this blog.
March 7th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
That’s true. I’ll always remain the Emperor.
March 8th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
I’m not Sam.