Forgive me for the sickness-induced hiatus which has put me behind on schoolwork, freelance assignments, and even blogging. To make amends, I’m going to offer up my friends’ amorous musings for analysis. Inspired by the New York Magazine piece, this is a week in the sex life of an Ivy League student.
Four real Harvardians (and one Quaker), seven days of yearning from across the Yard, morning-after shuttle rides, and Facebook flirting. We are a campus of grade-grubbing, budding Manhattanites and whatever New Yorkers can do, we think can do better. But can we?
This week gal pals and fellow bloggers chronicled their deepest desires. For a preview of what can be expected once our juicy journals are compiled, check out a one day peek into the psyche of Ennui and Decadence, a Harvard soph, and take a look at seven days from my previous week:
THE JADED SEX BLOGGER
Female, sophomore, sociology concentrator, Mather House, “straight-flexible” and single
1 a.m. Headache all Sunday. Before bed, I write six Facebook messages to people I want to see in the next week. Two of them are to guys I’m interested in.
1 p.m. See Facebook response from ZAP’s friend, Riley. He likes my picture, call it “quite emotive.” I tell him I’m free Friday and proceed to pass out from fatigue.
9 p.m. Birth control alarm goes off. I’m out. Fuck.
10 p.m. Still headachey. Decide on a whim to Facebook message my friend Greg’s blockmate from the previous weekend: “don’t know if you recall but Greg intro’ed us at the sae party in currier. i commented, “Greg, you never told me you had such attractive blockmates!” totally meant it. we should grab coffee.” Pat myself on back for being charmingly forward.
12 p.m. Find Facebook message from cute-but-awkward guy I went on cute-but-awkward date with. He’s busy this weekend. His disinterest is glaringly obvious. I give up.
6 p.m. Drag self out of bed to attend Mather Faculty Dinner with tutorial TF. End up telling her about the sex blog. Probably a bad idea.
9 p.m. Birth control alarm goes off. Mental reminder to renew prescription.
11:19 p.m. Greg’s blockmate responds on Facebook, “thank you. maybe next week sometime, im pretty busy right now.”
11:30 p.m. Fume about the brush-off to former hookup Kyle. He tells me that I “probably intimidated the guy.”
3 p.m. On way out of Science Center, I bump into Riley from Day 1. Doubletake ensues. “Did you — ?” “Are you — ?” “Yes.” “Hi.” He asks if we’re on for Friday. We are.
9 p.m. Birth control alarm goes off. Oh god.
10 p.m. Rena tells me our Foreign Cultures professor asked her if she knew Lena Chen. Over Faculty Dinner, he mentioned that a colleague told him that the only reason all the guys signed up for the course was because they wanted to see some “famous website girl” who was in it. Decide to start going to class.
11 a.m. Sleep through Foreign Cultures.
2 p.m. Have nothing to contribute to section. Matt walks in. Ogle him from across the room.
6 p.m. Dinner with Nate. He is telling me about all the sex he had with his girlfriend he visited last weekend. Don’t want to hear any of it.
7:00 p.m. See Rody’s friend, Beth, in the dining hall who I messaged on Day 1. She invites me to sit down. Feels like one of the cool girls has told me she liked my hairband.
8:00 p.m. Stake out Currier Dining Hall. Accost Rody and Greg when my girl crush walks in with her a capella group. Introduce her to everyone as “the prettiest girl I know and a great singer.” I am mostly straight, but like to leave room for exceptions.
8:30 p.m. Ask Rody’s cute blockmate if he has a girlfriend. He does not. Ask him if he likes girls. He does not.
9 p.m. Birth control alarm goes off but I don’t hear it because Rody has taken me to Currier Stein Club. He introduces me to a cute (and thankfully, straight) blockmate. Can think of nothing interesting to say.
9:40 p.m. Riley is here! We talk for an hour and a half. He is scruffy, but adorable. There is chemistry. We agree on lunch the next day.
11:30 p.m. Greg and I go to 45 Mt. Auburn. Am his wingwoman for 15 minutes before I realize this gig sucks.
1 p.m. Riley has not called. I take off to the Square solo for a sunny day of shopping.
3 p.m. Inform ZAP that his friend is quickly losing points. Ten minutes later, my phone rings. We’re on for dinner.
5 p.m. Queer Tea at Lowell Master’s Residence. It is a meat market and I am a carrot.
7 p.m. At Tamarind Bay dinner with Riley. He is much smarter than I am and seems perfectly well-adjusted. Wonder if he really goes to Harvard.
8:15 p.m. We take a walk along the Charles hand-in-hand. Am almost positive this is a huge joke.
8:30 p.m. He kisses me. I giggle. I have regressed to the mental age of 12.
8:50 p.m. I tell him I’m going to be late for my 9 p.m. show. We keep making out.
9:00 p.m. Birth control alarm goes off. We keep making out.
9:15 p.m. Arrive late to Grease with a huge grin.
12:30 a.m. Run into an ex-hookup at the Pub opening. He was a terrible kisser.
2:10 a.m. Former hookup Kyle IMs me. Think of him fondly before remembering that he has a girlfriend.
2:54 a.m. Ex-boyfriend wakes me up with a text from Los Angeles: “Do you want to have text with me?” Go back to bed with the smug satisfaction that he still thinks of me when drunk.
1 p.m. Make it over to Earth Day at the MAC Quad to see my girl crush performing. She is in the same band as the cute-but-awkward guy. I think he’s hot, but she’s much hotter.
1:15 p.m. Text message Riley as I walk over to Thropstock: “Thanks so much for dinner last night! I had a great time. Come out to the river. The weather is phenomenal.”
2 p.m. Bump into Riley on Dunster St. I ask him if he got my text message but he left his phone in his room. He says he’ll call after he gets his phone back.
3 p.m. Riley has not called back and I am more than annoyed. I tell ZAP his friend is kind of flaky.
9 p.m. Birth control alarm goes off in the middle of Eastbound show. Decide on the spot to stop the pill.
1 a.m. Nate is drunk and touching my ass. He tells me I’m a tease. I tell him he’s drunk.
2 a.m. On dancefloor at the Fox, friend says everyone thinks Nate and I are going to hook up tonight. Try to remember what it’s like to be attracted to him. Can’t do it.
2:30 a.m. Grinding with Nate is uncomfortably slow. Can’t do it.
11 a.m. Wake up to my beeping phone. Text message from Riley: “I know it’s early for a Sunday but I’ve been itching to call. Sorry about yesterday, I got kidnapped into a business presentation. Wanna get together?” Call him back immediately and make plans for noon, despite feeling light-headed from not enough sleep.
12 p.m. Am late, as usual. Riley’s wearing a green polo that matches my sundress. Must be fate.
12:30 p.m. In the Boston Public Gardens, I get excited about the swan boats and ask if he’s been on. Riley is game.
1 p.m. Mid-pond/snuggle, realize this is the most cliche moment of my life.
2 p.m. Brunch on Newbury St. We spend the wait being disgustingly affectionate.
3:30 p.m. He lets me pay on the condition that I let him take me out again.
4:00 p.m. He whispers on the T ride back that he wants to make out with me right now. I giggle.
6 p.m. At friend’s cocktail party. Controversial Crimed fawning over her boyfriend. Wonder if conservative girls get more attention.
7:30 p.m. ZAP’s blockmate asks me for dating advice. I laugh. She’s serious. I laugh some more.
8 p.m. Currier Open House with ZAP. He gloats to Rody that I like Riley more than the guy Rody’s trying to set me up with.
9 p.m. Knock on Riley’s door for an impromptu visit. He is on his way out. Awkward intro to his friend. Hugs me goodbye in front of him.
1 a.m. Go to bed smitten.