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Partying Like a Freshman
This weekend harkens back to freshman spring. For the most part, I’ve been on a sober, monogamous, responsible streak. Maybe it was Cece’s visit during Mather Lather and my subsequent reintroduction to binge drinking. Maybe it was the festive year-end mood. Maybe it was my enabling friends. Whatever the case, this past weekend was more alcoholic than any other this year. Sure, I’ve had my blackout moments but it’s been a long time since a three-day streak with a different cock and cocktail each night.
Which isn’t to say that I broke the no-sex rule (let’s assume for a moment that oral doesn’t count). I just engaged in a lot of making out a la high school. It was kind of fun, I must admit. Besides the serious damage at Currier Formal (five glasses wine, a Lemon Drop, and a White Russian), I was going strong Friday with a sangria-fueled Quad-a-thon.
Things Lena Did Friday Night (probably not completely in order):
1. Drink three full Solo cups of sangria at Mather Happy Hour. Start feeling good.
2. Put on ridiculously short minidress with ridiculously tall stilettos
3. Quad Quad Quad with ZAP ZAP ZAP
4. Make out with male acquaintance at door of No Pants Dance
5. Make out with another male acquaintance inside No Pants Dance
6. Forget the name of second male acquaintance. Ask friend. Resume making out.
7. At some point in evening, yell at/hit Riley in the face seven or eight times. With permission.
8. Order $50 worth of sushi.
9. Consume $50 worth of sushi.
10. Ply Kay with alcohol. Unsuccessfully.
11. Go home with male acquaintance whose name I only vaguely remember at this point.
12. Get oral sex.
13. Tell him there’s no way I’m going down on him. (Sorry!)
14. Or so much as touching his dick. (Sorry again!)
15. Ask him mid-hookup — totally seriously — “You don’t happen to have a girlfriend, do you?”
16. Get more oral sex.
17. Realize that there’s been sexual tension between us for over a year. This is it?! Disappointed.
18. Roll over as he talks about his commitment issues and how he’s really not that bad a guy. Could care less.
19. Wake up in the morning. It is 12pm and all I have to wear are the ridiculous mini dress and the ridiculous stilettos.
20. His roommate walks in on me while I’m in a t-shirt and thong. Thanks.
21. Am invited to lunch in the dining hall with his roommates. Riiiight.
22. Attempt the Quad to Mather Walk of Shame in ridiculous minidress and stilettos. Get honked at. A lot.
23. Am complimented on ridiculous stilettos (purple peep-toes) by girl coming out of Leverett Dining Hall. Feel slightly validated.
24. Realize last night’s hookup has probably told all his roommates that we had sex in 80 positions. Hate him intensely.
25. Immediately email friends my account of the evening.
Anyhow, I can’t have more than one of these weekends a semester. It’s way too draining. Besides, I really prefer regularity over a half dozen kissing partners, even if all that means is a three-week Reading Period fling.
May 8th, 2007 at 10:43 am
O_o
What kind(s) of sushi? Or is that long since forgotten.
May 8th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
ahh i like this entry
May 8th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
“17. Realize that there’s been sexual tension between us for over a year. This is it?! Disappointed.”
I’m sure he was SO thrilled that you allowed him to go down on him and then ignored him, though. Poor you
Maybe you could write a blog sometime soon reminding everyone of 1) why anyone would want to hook up with you in the first place, and 2) how you letting guys go down on you is somehow more responsible or morally better or something than you actually having sex with them?
I mean (no offense) you’re not much better than average looking, if any above average, its clear you don’t return the favor when guys get you off on these random hook ups, and its clear you’re more immature than the average girl your age, and again, clearly, you’re not some brilliant conversationalist, judging by both this blog and your recounted exchanges.
I just don’t see what they get out of it, other than the kissing, which may be nice, and the dubious honor of being mentioned in passing here. Some of my friends tell me that the pickings are pretty slim at Harvard, so maybe that explains it
Anyway, I’m seriously not trying to be rude or anything, i just don’t see why anyone would bother with you when you act the way you do, given that you’re not filthy rich or a supermodel. So if you get a chance to blog on that, I think it would help some of your readers, not just me
thanks in advance
May 8th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
Jason,
That was a really long comment. You could’ve just said: “You’re ugly. You’re selfish. Why do guys like you?”
My answer: “Blindness/ignorance.”
May 8th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
“SO thrilled that you allowed him to go down on him”
obviously that was him to go down on you, not him. i was in a hurry. sorry
May 8th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
Fraternity shout-out from the University of Alabama:
Your Blog is “Hilarious, outrages, and out of controlâ€
Keep writing more interesting stories…
May 9th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
God, what a fucking WHORE! This just never stops does it? This is who you really are.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
ok, so at least I wasn’t the only one last weekend to party like a freshman again…you sum it up perfectly though
May 12th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
Self-proclaimed Doggerel #1 in Response to Jason
Her conversation’s better than one expects
If one comes seeking only cheap thrills and sex,
And though the lady may be scandalous
She still knows how to handalous
–Especially you, for you claim she’s not attractive,
But she’s kept you coming back, and your browser active.
…It seems when these comments get most lively,
It’s always sexly and never ively…
May 13th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
You are hilarious, I love it!
I didn’t know Harvard students partied so hard, but I am glad to hear that they do.
May 13th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
12. Get oral sex.
13. Tell him there’s no way I’m going down on him. (Sorry!)
14. Or so much as touching his dick. (Sorry again!)
15. Ask him mid-hookup — totally seriously — “You don’t happen to have a girlfriend, do you?â€
16. Get more oral sex.
17. Realize that there’s been sexual tension between us for over a year. This is it?! Disappointed.
What is up with that? That’s plain selfish. It bewilders the mind how you could possibly be disappointed.