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It’s Not Because You’re Brown. It’s Because You’re A Douchebag.
I’m walking down Fifth Avenue at 1am in a Chaiken denim skirt and low-cut black top. Not the wisest decision I’ve made in recent memory, but give me a break: cabs on the East Coast don’t take plastic. I’m trying to hurry to the train station as quickly as possible, when a guy — exactly what I want to avoid — starts walking alongside me and chatting me up.
It’s 1am. He’s at least 35. I am so not in the mood to even deal with guys my own age.
After throwing out the typical “you look beautiful/sexy/like the perfect candidate for fertilization”, he asks me to get a drink. I nervously smile, turn him down politely, quicken my pace, and keep refusing as he gets more persistent. Mind you, he is following me the entire time. So maybe three or four blocks into this, he asks, “You don’t like Mexican guys?”
Uh, wow. I almost slapped him. Five times over, since he repeated the question at least five more times. But obviously, there is a limit even to my rashness.
No, dude. It’s not because I don’t like Mexican guys. It’s because I don’t like assholes who follow me at 1am for SIX BLOCKS after I repeatedly turn down their offer for “a good time” where “we both win”.
Is this some sort of trendy tactic to get girls to agree to dates for fear of seeming racist? Two weeks ago, I wouldn’t give my number to a black admirer on the train and he actually asked me “What do y’all Asian girls have against a brotha?” while I was on my way to meet up with a black guy. There is some major irony here.
Look, I know it’s easier on your ego to fabricate a racial bias on my part, but really, please refrain. Superficial things I do care about include: sperm count, net worth, number of Facebook friends. Things I don’t care about: melanin.
July 1st, 2007 at 11:02 am
It’s time’s like that I would have considered taking out my cellphone, photographing him, and sending his pic to Holla Back NYC:
http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/
July 1st, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Do you watch 30 rock? Funny episode where Tina Fey’s character has issues with a similar sort of problem, dumping this black guy she went out with once, for fear of being called a racist.
July 1st, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Dude, that happens in broad daylight to bridge and tunnel people. Though I usually only get the “you don’t like [insert Latin American nationality here]?” after saying something like “fucking Indians” or “Cortés and Pizarro should have finished the job” as a response to “your ass is delicious”.
You have to understand that, in their culture, those obscenities the guy yelled at you are a type of mating call, kind of like what birds do or whatever. Apparently it works with south of the border chicks; that’s why they all have 12 kids.
Yes, I know, I’m racist and you’re outraged by how judgemental I am. Sorry, but I’m Spanish, so I’m allowed to be racist towards other Hispanics. My ancestors stole their ancestors land and destroyed their empires fair and square. And I’m tired of having to curse 40-year-old Peruvians out every time I walk a block in my neighborhood, so I empathize.
July 1st, 2007 at 2:36 pm
i love this post.
July 1st, 2007 at 3:04 pm
It’s interesting you say that: I use the brown thing as a joke.
Sometimes an icebreaker, but never if someone turns me down.
…Which doesn’t happen often (knock on wood), but still.
July 1st, 2007 at 6:38 pm
Sperm count? Really?
July 2nd, 2007 at 2:37 am
Reminds me of a recent time a homeless guy gave me (white) shit for not giving him money because he was black, and also insinuating that I was treating my (asian) girlfriend all nice and stuff. Nevermind that she’d just paid for dinner. And then there was this whole weird race-hierarchy he seemed to be implying.
As someone who has been trying to treat people with a fair amount of equality all of his life, it really fucking pisses me off when people tell me I’m being a racist.
July 2nd, 2007 at 3:15 am
i found you through friends–and i have to tell you, i have such an intense issue with this, im an nyu girl and my sweet as sugar friend was walking down the street one day and had a similar experience, when the guy pulled the “you dont like black people” line on her she apologized and felt terrible. When she told me she felt terrible, and i told her it was inappropriate for an older man to pursue a 20 year old girl on the street and be shocked when she wasnt responsive. She had nothing to feel sorry for and it was wrong for him to pursue her so strongly. I know men are usually, taller and stronger than I am, and if they approach me when i am all alone, i am always intimidated, how do they expect me to respond? great entry.
July 2nd, 2007 at 8:07 am
On the bright side, the type of guys who engage in this type of harassment are unlikely to have girlfriends.
July 2nd, 2007 at 8:10 pm
Cabs in Philly take plastic, they have the card swiper thing in the back. But they would rather have cash.
July 3rd, 2007 at 7:56 pm
An Italian guy who followed me from a local bar back to my halls of residence at 3am asked me the same thing (is it because i’m Italian?) and then followed it with a ‘oh, you’re probably English aren’t you’.
It completely caught me off guard - considering he’d seen me getting with his Italian friend all evening!
RCX
July 5th, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Sperm count?
July 19th, 2007 at 10:06 am
That’s funny, I thought this post was going to be about Ivy-league douchebags, esp ones who went to Brown.
btw, a girl walking down Fifth Avenue at 1am in a Chaiken denim skirt and low-cut black top sounds like a hooker to me. maybe that’s why the guy was searching for an answer why you wouldn’t take his business?