Sex and the Ivy

Do You Have A Type?

Filed under: Men, Summer Guy — Elle October 29, 2007 @ 3:05 am

Because I don’t. I know it’s hard to believe. People like to declare that they’re type-less and then they tack on the criteria of “as long as he’s not a Republican.” Me? I’ve dated a Republican.

You would think that it might be tougher to date someone of a different cultural or religious background. Well, not for me. Republicanism might as well be the Christianity of a foreign land named Coulterville. I spent my entire relationship with Summer Guy attempting to ignore the fact that I was sleeping with the enemy, but at the end of it all, I learned a lot about myself. My views on race, poverty, and gay rights came out stronger, because his (facetious) challenges to them made me think critically about why I believed the things I did.

(A year and a half later, it now looks like he’s on the verge of a conversion to my god. Can’t help but feel a little smug about that.)

I was fairly non-discriminatory even before the Republican, but I think I’m even more so now. Race, religion, profession, education, class, whatever: as long as the guy’s tolerant and intelligent, none of it really matters. Just about the only criteria of late is age and even that’s rather lax (within five years of my own — and obviously, no 15-year-olds). Further, I don’t merely claim to be an equal-opportunity bed partner. I actually am in practice. Thanks to public misconception and a ton of presumption, I get quite a bit of criticism for only dating or sleeping with white guys, which pisses me off because that’s indicative of major stereotyping of Asian women. The actual racial breakdown in my history between white vs. everything else? Probably closer to 70-30, which is within five percentage points of Harvard’s actual demographic makeup.

Still, I think I go through phases — trends, if you will — during which I become fond of a certain kind of guy. For example, I’ve hooked up with three rugby players, which is pretty disproportionate for someone with only one friend on an athletic team. It’s also with bemusement that I’ve noticed my recent liking for less corporate and more creative types as well as — drumroll, please — undergrads! Crushes and hook-ups from late summer to mid-autumn include: an actor, a photographer, a couple NYU guys, four writers (three professional, one aspiring), a tech geek, a Currierite, another Harvard junior, and a grad student doing something other than law/medicine/business. A diverse bunch, but none are cubicle-bound.

So in the interest of kicking off an interesting comment thread, here’s my ideal type at the moment. He may or may not actually exist in real life.

(Also, notice that race is as close as I get to discussing looks when it comes to type. I don’t have a type in terms of looks either, though I admittedly err toward the darker-featured. Every guy I get involved with is gorgeous in my eyes … as he should be!)

Race: Unimportant
Religion: Agnostic, whatever he can get, “spiritual”
Education: In school, whether it’s undergrad or grad
Bad Habits: Poor hygiene and messiness unacceptable, drug use tolerable.
Super Powers: Enough tech savvy to resuscitate my website when I do something stupid to it, culinary expertise, and tolerance for my “quirks” (also known as “my friends”). Just kidding, I love you guys.
Other Important Stuff: He must like sushi and be well-read.

Your list?

18 Responses to “Do You Have A Type?”

  1. Laura Says:

    Race: generally not important but I have a preference for white guys (mostly Jewish ones)
    Religion: as long as he’s not a hardcore evangelist
    Education: Should be in school, and should be smarter than me, most likely should be a math/science/engineering major.
    Bad habits: I agree, poor hygiene, messiness are unacceptable. Playing too many video games is ok.
    Superpowers: None required, I have all the ones I need. Being able to cook is a plus.
    Other: Not afraid of showing that he’s a dork.

  2. M Says:

    I honestly don’t have a type, either, but I’ve always been a sucker for green/blue eyes.

    And I once dated a guy who did not get any of my pop culture references, and it made for a lot of awkward looks/silences. So I guess someone who’s at least aware of what goes on in the world.

  3. Susie Says:

    :) My main criteria is that he must like sushi and my friends think I’m absolutely ridiculous for it. I have also been finding myself stray away from the professional corporate types and go for the creative. And he needs to be super chatty. I love the feeling of looking at the clock and realize you’ve stayed up all night just talkng about random stuff.

  4. Cece Says:

    Race: I seem to have yellow fever, but I’m open to someone changing my mind.
    Religion: Ideally, Christian. Realistically, someone respectful of all religions or lack thereof.
    Education: I love me a well-educated man!
    Bad Habits: No-effort-at-all appearance unacceptable. Smoking and drugs unacceptable. Drinking tolerable.
    Super Powers: Impossible amounts of patience, indulgence, strength, and humor. :)
    Other Important Stuff: No racism, sexism, violence, elitism.

  5. Your #2 'Mo Says:

    Race: white, maybe Hispanic, European (does that count as a race?)

    Religion: any kind that has missionaries

    Education: just as long as he can form (semi) coherent sentences

    Bad habits: drunken drama is a plus, poor hygiene and hogging the blanket are totally unacceptable

    Superpowers: without going into too much detail, it’s kind of along the lines of being able to pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time :-P

    Other: if you’re wearing DHAs you know I want you

  6. Valley Girl Says:

    Great post. I once slept with a Democrat who was once a Republican. That kinda counts, I guess. I think he lied after seeing how repulsed I was though; methinks he’s still a Republican.

    Anyway, like you, I don’t discriminate in terms of race. We’re all people, and a hot man is a hot man, right?

    But I’d like that a potential partner be college-educated, be in the same income bracket (or higher) than I, be financially responsible, taller. It would be nice if he were an a la carte Catholic like me, too.

    Comment by Valley Girl — October 29, 2007 @ 3:19 pm

  7. FC Says:

    Fine, Lena, I’ll bite. Nothing here will surprise you.

    Race: White, non-Cuban
    Religion: Not Protestant. Preferably Catholic, but whatevs.
    Education: School is good. Multilingualism a must.
    Bad Habits: I don’t care as long as he showers and overuses perfume. Do to hygiene issues, no communists, please. Having an addiction to chamomile is a plus. Gambling unacceptable.
    Super Powers: Has to be willing to argue all the time. The more of a douchebag he is, and the more aggressive, the better.
    Other Important Stuff: Must enjoy the company of gay men. In fact, homosexuality is a plus. Oh, and I also try to only hook up with republicans.

    Does this make me “picky”?

  8. Katie Says:

    I have a type, but it’s very broad. I just like men who are tall and bigger than I am, but not someone I can’t wrap my arms around. I like them to have noticeable muscles, shorter hair (usually) and the ability to make fun of their-self. Whether they’re strongly, interested in music, sports, vehicles, art, etc. - I’m up for everything. I’m currently taken, however. Race or religion is not a factor for me at all as well.

  9. tilly Says:

    Race: don’t care
    Religion: i like the label of ’spiritual’
    Education: in school or out and with a career (not just a ‘job’)
    Bad Habits: must shower, wear clean clothes. can smoke weed and play video games 2 hours a day…
    Super Powers: interest in what I like…aka willing to attend weird art openings, documentaries, and go to restaurants that are off the beaten track.
    Other Important Stuff: must be able to tolerate my hello kitty pillows and unicorn paraphernalia.

  10. Sam Jackson Says:

    Labels are for jars, not people!

  11. Mira Says:

    Race: Probably white or black, I’ve dated hispanic & asian men, but I think I prefer the extremes in skin tone
    Religion: Just no attacking me for mine
    Education: Must be at least pursuing a college education
    Bad Habits: I can deal with a little B.O. but if I feel the need to make a face, then no go. I would usually say no drug use, but my current boyfriend does just about everything… with his other friends though. Around me he’s as clean as can be.
    Super Powers: Ability to put up with complaining and me being messy.
    Other Important Stuff: Low-maintenance and tolerant. After my last bf (black and racist), absolutely no racism/sexism/etc. Can’t be selfish in bed, he can be bad, cause I can fix that, but…

  12. Darcy Says:

    haha, this is fun
    Race: no real preference, though for some reason I’ve only slept with Jews (coincidence!)
    Religion: Agnostic at most, extreme religiousness will just get in the way of my happy spiritual void
    Bad Habits: must shower regularly and not call me constantly or smother me with affection
    Super Powers: a lack of psychological issues? I don’t think I can date another guy who ends up talking about himself to me as if I’m a shrink he fucks on the side
    Other Important Stuff: must like food, must be well read, must not be racist, must not be stupidly liberal, enthusiasm in bed would be nice

  13. calliope Says:

    Well, I know I’m picky!

    Race: I admit to having a weakness for Scandinavians, however, I’ll be into him as long as he’s hot, has no baldness in his family, is minimum 6 ft tall, has great lips,a big dick, and is a terrific lover (ie, adventurous and not selfish).
    Religion: Secular - preferably agnostic
    Education: Well educated or a high school/college drop out who is an entrepreneurial and/or artistic genius.
    Bad Habits: I don’t tolerate guys who don’t know how to dress and groom themselves. Metrosexual, please. And I’ll pass on guys who think in terms of slut vs. good girl…no double standards!
    Super Powers: Make me laugh and be creative. Have an imagination!!!
    Other Important Stuff: I prefer entrepreneurial and independent types…so he should start a biz, write a novel and/or create an artistic masterpiece.

  14. Lorna Says:

    Race: Asian (I’ve yellow fever, though there are a number of celebrities that strongy defy that, so you’re open to try)

    Religion: faithful to his beliefs, whatever they may be, but not out to converge

    Education: both street and book smart (just because you’re in school doesn’t mean you’re not a dumbass)

    Bad Habits: inconsideration, insecurity, obvious disinterest in personal upkeep, obvious overinterest in personal upkeep, judgemental

    Super Powers: creative (I need inspiration in my life), resourceful (because that’s alwas sexy), driven (carry things out already), versatile personality (not that he will be given the chance, but I like the idea of him being able to mingle well with all my groups of friends), ability to stay with me for hours at Nucleus/KidRobot/Bookstores and enjoy it

    Other Important Stuff: attentive in a non-suffocating way, ultra-respectful of others, humor, patience, flexibilty, strong sense of self, great smile

    *bonus*
    Other Not-So-Important Stuff: I’m a sucker for boys who can pull off those thick-rimmed glasses, and I’ve yet to meet a boy good enough to wow my parents. I love the sound of a skateboard, but stylewise, I’m more of an urban chick than a skater one.

  15. uchcotl09 Says:

    choosing your own quotes to highlight is pretentious beyond belief.

  16. Roxy Says:

    I actually enjoy dating Republicans. They tend to be clean-cut and preppy. I love that type.

    I also enjoy dating Yankee fans. Rivalry sex is f*cktastic!

  17. Tim S. Says:

    Race: Doesn’t matter.
    Religion: Spiritual at best, we already have enough religious crazies out there.
    Education: Grad school. I need an intellectual challenge, not just a pretty face in need of a mute button.
    Bad Habits: Runs late, a little cluttered, and can enjoy a glass of wine…or six.
    Super Powers: Can date a republican. and can avoid catching a bad case of “The Crazies”. A little flare up is okay, but a major case is restraining order territory.
    Other Important Stuff: Must eat meat. Sushi and steak are my two favorite food groups (yes…I know, but in my world they are food groups). Is okay with space, I’m sorry but I can’t be with you 24/7, I need space for myself….can you please have a girl’s night out, please?! Doesn’t treat me like her therapist, I heard enough of it from my clients. Oh and petite, like 5′4″ or shorter. I like short girls, not sure why.

  18. Rudy Says:

    To FC who said:
    “Other Important Stuff: Must enjoy the company of gay men. In fact, homosexuality is a plus. Oh, and I also try to only hook up with republicans.

    Does this make me “picky”?”

    No, not picky, just lonely.

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