Single Never Felt Better

This weekend has been one long reminder of how fucking thankful I am to be single right now.

First, I realized that I had/have really bad taste in guys. And by “bad taste”, I mean I attracted a clinical narcissist who now refuses to leave me alone. It has been months and months and months. I will not give into changing my phone number but I am seriously at my wit’s end because I hate having to check caller ID all the time and I don’t want him to send crazy texts. He is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of bad taste, and basically, it’s just better for the world and my own sanity if I don’t date anyone seriously. Ever. In fact, if I’m dating you, it probably means you’re a bad person.

Second, I read this piece in Jezebel and realized how much I really love Summer Guy in the most platonic of ways and how incredibly glad I am that we’re friends. We are completely wrong for each other (because again, I have terrible taste and he’s a Republican), but now we’re actual friends so it’s all good. If I were dating someone? We probably wouldn’t be on such great terms. Trust me, the “purely platonic” ex-boyfriend is a tough sell on the new interest.

Third, breakups suck. One of my closest friends just split with their significant other today and I’m … kind of a mess. It’s not even my relationship and I nearly cried when I found out. (I actually felt incredibly guilty for not being in Cambridge right then to deal with this situation.) Because it’s been so long since I’ve let myself get emotionally invested in a romantic relationship, it’s hard for me to even conceptualize heartbreak anymore, but even the vague memory of it is enough to keep me from wanting to fall in love. Whoever said it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all obviously never experienced my freshman year at Harvard. Or my sophomore year. Junior year? Um, really not planning on taking part in that crazy “love” business again!

Fourth, simply put: there are a ton of options out there. It never, ever feels that way at Harvard (at least that’s the mentality among my girlfriends) but outside of these Crimson gates, I’m reminded of the overabundance of choices I have. New York this summer, for example, was ridiculous. It’s only been two months since then and I’ve already forgotten that there were endless options once I looked beyond Harvard. My trip to Philadelphia was a more than welcome reminder of that.

Fifth, life is so good right now and I am hesitant to change it. I love my friends, I love Currier, I love being able to take off for a weekend at a moment’s notice. I love meeting random people, entertaining flirtations, and not taking life seriously. I even love solitude and I have always loathed being alone. I don’t want to share my bed with someone and I certainly don’t want to share my life.

In conclusion, single has never felt better. A steady guy at the moment fits into neither my Google Cal nor my mindset. And for the first time in just about ever, I think I’ve stopped looking.