Sex and the Ivy

Proposition 8: Who Needs Marriage?

Filed under: Queer — Elle October 21, 2008 @ 3:04 am

A woman called from some Democrat-related organization to ask if 1) I was voting for Obama — I am, and 2) if I’d read up on Prop 8 — I have and I’m voting against it. (What I really want to know is this: how did these folks get my phone number?? I’m not a registered Democrat AND moreover, I’m on the Do Not Call list.)

In terms of the presidential election, my absentee ballot will probably mean nada, but it’ll count quite a bit toward the vote against Prop 8. Despite some optimistic forecasts, I’m inclined to think that there’s more contention than being reported and at least one media source finds the majority in support of the ban on same-sex marriage.

As a staunch atheist, I have a simple — some might call it simplistic — opinion on the issue: don’t let the state have any say on what “marriage” is at all. In the ideal world, everyone could have civil unions and obtain the same rights historically associated with marriage. Those who actually care about the sanctity of the marriage label can go harass their church about who’s allowed slap that sticker on their forehead. Granted, there’s a cultural attachment to the word and idea of “marriage” (thanks for the early conditioning, media!), but I’m sure America can overcome that along with terrorism and its close cousin paganism.

Unfortunately, in the world we actually live in, people want their personal definition of marriage to prevail — and this is something both left and right are guilty of. The term “marriage” itself isn’t worth defense by anyone (no, not even LGBT activists). It’s a moot point after all. As a non-religious person, the title “domestic partner” means as much to me as the title of wife and let’s face it, there are greater things to fight for than technical terms here. What same-sex couples really need are equal legal consideration and societal tolerance. There wouldn’t even be a debate about “marriage” if those goals were achieved.

And by the way, I’m not even remotely interested in the idea of getting married in any official sense so maybe I just don’t care enough about marriage to defend it against the evil homosexuals. Knowing me, I’d be too lazy to plan the damn wedding and would probably even put off the city hall trip for a licensel. And given my blasé attitude on these matters, I’m supposed to think that my chick-dude relationship is somehow superior to same-sex couplings simply because I, like millions of women before me, can biologically produce squealing brats who will surely ruin my life? Please. Let someone else get married. Let them adopt the product of my womb. They will surely do as good — if not a better — job with both.