A woman called from some Democrat-related organization to ask if 1) I was voting for Obama — I am, and 2) if I’d read up on Prop 8 — I have and I’m voting against it. (What I really want to know is this: how did these folks get my phone number?? I’m not a registered Democrat AND moreover, I’m on the Do Not Call list.)

In terms of the presidential election, my absentee ballot will probably mean nada, but it’ll count quite a bit toward the vote against Prop 8. Despite some optimistic forecasts, I’m inclined to think that there’s more contention than being reported and at least one media source finds the majority in support of the ban on same-sex marriage.

As a staunch atheist, I have a simple — some might call it simplistic — opinion on the issue: don’t let the state have any say on what “marriage” is at all. In the ideal world, everyone could have civil unions and obtain the same rights historically associated with marriage. Those who actually care about the sanctity of the marriage label can go harass their church about who’s allowed slap that sticker on their forehead. Granted, there’s a cultural attachment to the word and idea of “marriage” (thanks for the early conditioning, media!), but I’m sure America can overcome that along with terrorism and its close cousin paganism.

Unfortunately, in the world we actually live in, people want their personal definition of marriage to prevail — and this is something both left and right are guilty of. The term “marriage” itself isn’t worth defense by anyone (no, not even LGBT activists). It’s a moot point after all. As a non-religious person, the title “domestic partner” means as much to me as the title of wife and let’s face it, there are greater things to fight for than technical terms here. What same-sex couples really need are equal legal consideration and societal tolerance. There wouldn’t even be a debate about “marriage” if those goals were achieved.

And by the way, I’m not even remotely interested in the idea of getting married in any official sense so maybe I just don’t care enough about marriage to defend it against the evil homosexuals. Knowing me, I’d be too lazy to plan the damn wedding and would probably even put off the city hall trip for a licensel. And given my blasé attitude on these matters, I’m supposed to think that my chick-dude relationship is somehow superior to same-sex couplings simply because I, like millions of women before me, can biologically produce squealing brats who will surely ruin my life? Please. Let someone else get married. Let them adopt the product of my womb. They will surely do as good — if not a better — job with both.

Lately, I’ve done so much work on this website and so very little work on academics! Some blurb updates follow (the picture, by the way, is of me and my blockmate Sue getting ready to go out):

* Readers can now subscribe via email to be notified when new entries are posted. If you’re already a registered users, you’re automatically subscribed. Not interested? Opt out through the subscription page under “About”.

* The Daily Pennsylvanian sums it up well: “She uses [her blog] to chronicle her sexual encounters, mental-health issues and drug use.” In other words, I am a bipolar coke whore. A literary one, but still.

* I’m going to be Tinkerbell for Halloween. Already have the green dress and wings, so all that’s left is a wand! I hope I can pull her off with my black hair or else I might just look like a random fairy. Not going blond though, lest I appear as if I’m channeling a Ganguro chick.

* Still have no idea what you want to be for Halloween? Check out the selection at Pierre Silber which has fully embraced the “slap on a hat, put on a short dress, and call it a costume” concept. Last year, I was a Mile High Captain. If you buy something through my link (or any of the ads on this page), your questionable Halloween outfit will also sponsor my tuition.

* If you’ve ever wondered what might happen if PostSecret and Lolcats had a love child, then my friend Ryan has got the answer. His project Lolsecretz is a hilarious and spot-on satire of the two memes. Check it out for kittens and scandal.

* Had an interesting dining hall concoction for lunch today and I feel inclined to share with the Harvard readers. Recipe: Assemble a sandwich with cinnamon raisin bread, pepper jack cheese, chicken strips, tomato slices, and barbecue sauce. Toast in the panini grill until cheese is melted. Bon appetit!

* Apparently, the Pennypacker freshmen are doing the dirty dirty.

* “Savage Love” columnist Dan Savage is coming to Boston College this Thursday. The event is sponsored by BC’s GLTBQ Leadership Council and all the details are online. A longtime reader myself, I might just trek it out there to catch the guy speak.

* Added a Contact page with all my various contact info and social network affiliations. Just joined Twitter, by the way, and my status updates will appear on my sidebar. A FAQ will be coming soon for answers to important questions like “When did you lose your virginity?” Just kidding — it’ll be an endless gallery of shoes. Or a link-swap policy. Whichev.

By the way, Sex and the Ivy is now running on Wordpress 2.3. Yes, I upgraded all on my own. If you recently found the site down in the middle of the night, that’s probably because I was in the middle of a serious tech boo-boo. Been staying up over the past week (often in a sustained state of panic) to do web-related fixes in order to minimize downtime in the day. Can someone please give me an award for “Blogger Most Likely To Crash Her Own Website Who Miraculously Hasn’t”?

National Coming Out Day is celebrated each year on October 11th to commemorate the 1987 Lesbian and Gay March on Washington and the first unfurling of the AIDS Quilt on the National Mall. Comparing public opinion polls on key issues from 1987 to today shows a dramatic shift in support for equal job opportunities, open military service, and inclusion in hate crimes law for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans.

“For twenty years, the GLBT community has been coming out and putting an ever-more personal face to issues in our lives, and that is clearly changing hearts and minds,” said Mark Shields, director of the HRC Coming Out Project. “Americans have come to know their GLBT friends and family in a new way in the last 20 years, and those relationships have changed the cultural landscape.” — Human Rights Campaign, 10/11/2007

My best friend and me as Harvard freshman (Fall 2005)

I was born in August of 1987. It is pretty incredible that this is a movement barely as old as my friends and I are, but what an amazing thing to happen over the course of our lifetime. I can’t imagine a world where none of my friends were openly gay, and yet that would have certainly been the case had I attended Harvard just a few decades back. I am so grateful to have grown up in a more tolerant society.

Two of my close friends have come out since last year’s National Coming Out Day, on their own terms, to who they wanted, and at a time when they were ready. I think it’s important to note — especially on a fairly accepting campus with a visible LGBT community — that coming out is a personal decision, not a social obligation. It happens when each person feels right about it and it doesn’t necessitate a billboard nor does it need to coincide with one day out of the year. October 11th is National Coming Out Day but it is really a reminder of the enormous community and support behind queer individuals all 365 days of the year.

Ugh, I feel like shit. Last night was the first time I’ve been drunk in the city and the first time I’ve hooked up with anyone here. I woke up hungover with little recollection of where I’d been. I’ve been so good about my drinking habits lately that a hard night out really feels like a hard night out.

Navigating the subway hungover? Never again. This marks the second time I thought I could die on the train. The first was a couple weeks ago when I suffered an allergic reaction, popped two Benadryl, and nearly fainted before I made it to the doctor’s. It was enough to tranquilize a cow.

Anyhow, I just stuffed myself with a sandwich and roasted corn to calm my tummy. Now I’m starting a two-day juice fast, ending at dinner on Monday. I’ve been meaning to do this for a while and now is a good time since the roomie’s out of town and I don’t have to cook. I really have no desire to eat anyway.

By the way, Happy Pride Weekend, everyone! I wish I knew more gay kids (or queer enthusiasts) in the city. I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head, but I desperately need a pal to go to things like this with me. If I were in school, CK would be a sure thing. Alas, she is currently in Colorado.

See ya at the March tomorrow.

This is for my best friend. This is for all my friends. This is for anyone who has come out, who wants to come out, who is thinking of coming out. This is for all people — gay, straight, bi, trans, or otherwise queer.

This is for me. This is for you.

Talk about it. Ask me.
October 11 is National Coming Out Day.

“It is the day set aside when we honor all GLBT and straight supportive Americans who live their lives openly and honestly every day. It is also a day set aside to help remind everyone that coming out and living openly is a lifelong journey – it’s something that we are called to do each and every day.”

Human Rights Campaign