Sex and the Ivy

A Day in September

Filed under: Recommendations — Elle September 12, 2007 @ 6:34 am

This is coming a few hours late, but I thought it was worth posting. Originally published just weeks after the Twin Towers fell, it’s the best editorial piece I’ve ever read about 9/11. It still manages to make me cry and laugh simultaneously, and it somehow pulls off being funny but tasteful, which is no easy task when you’re writing about a tragedy of this scale. I am even fond of its spiritual spin, and that’s saying a lot as a staunch agnostic.

God Angrily Clarifies Dont Kill Rule

The Onion

God Angrily Clarifies ‘Don’t Kill’ Rule

NEW YORK-Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other Monday.

What’s strange is that after rereading this piece today, I was struck by its timelessness and universality. Really, you could apply the same theme to so many other examples of senseless deaths, which makes the article all the more emotionally moving because it takes on a whole new relevance nowadays. Read it yourself, and then consider America’s actions following 9/11. Somehow I don’t think “Invade Foreign Countries/Kill 100,000+ Innocent People” were on the list of what Jesus would do. (And this is as religious as you’ll ever get me.)

How ironic that today our country was not alone in mourning 9/11 victims. Millions around the world must have joined us in grief, not for the lives lost beneath the rubble of Lower Manhattan but for the countless non-Americans made victims in our attempt to right this wrong with nothing less than blood.

Weekend Unrest

Filed under: Diet, Drinking, Life, Recommendations — Elle July 16, 2007 @ 3:15 pm

I got into work from Greenwich (as in Connecticut, not the Village) this morning after clocking six cumulative hours of sleep for the weekend, and altogether, not functioning very well. I’m taking lunch at work right now to blog and recover, toting a large coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other. So much for getting writing done over the weekend.

Ran around Saturday with Harvard kids who are in the city en route to an around-the-world trip (they’re actually spending the entire summer traveling the globe). It was quite the day/night. We hit up:

-Philip Marie, my favorite brunch spot, where you score an entree and unlimited mimosa for $17.95 every Saturday.
-Rocco’s, which is a dessert-exclusive restaurant on Bleecker and Carmine.
-Aroma Espresso Bar, my preferred daytime wifi spot on Greene and Houston (Think Coffee is what I like at night).
-Casa Mono, the best Spanish tapas in the city, though I probably consumed more wine than solid food here.
-OTTO, wine bar and restaurant on 8th and 5th Ave, which — FYI to the underage — does not card.

Met up with a (quite literal) gentleman caller at Hiro which can be summed up in ten or less words: old crowd, limited/bad drink selection, girls swinging from ceiling. Yeah. Also, the decor is totally tacky but maybe that’s just because I’m Asian and know better than to be impressed by paper lanterns and ill-advised acrobatics via suspension cables. Ended up at the Westin in Times Square eating like 1,200 calories worth of room service stuff. Gentleman caller drove me home in the morning after letting me get next to no sleep. Actual question I asked mid-makeout: “Don’t be offended but do you have a girlfriend?” I was pretty sure he didn’t but you can never be too careful. I even checked for a ring/ring imprint earlier in the evening. Paranoia aside, had a great time. Even better than the fantastic hookup was the water pressure during my morning shower. Why can’t I live in a hotel?

After getting home at the ungodly (for Sunday) hour of 11:30am, I grabbed brunch with the roomie at Maroons which has live jazz and a great brunch scene. I’ve been dying for soul food and have been too lazy to trek uptown. Maroon’s, at 16th and 7th, is a good 25 minutes closer than Harlem. I left early to make a train to Greenwich.

Spent the rest of Sunday on a doomed sea voyage. No joke. Just outside the harbor, the boat I was in started sinking. We had about four inches by the time we made it back to the dock. All was not lost. We hung out, drank, ate, fended off mosquitoes, smoked, etc. by the dock. I had a good two-hour nap on the deck from midnight to 2am, at which point I woke up cold and alone because the four people with me went off to hook up with each other. Then we trespassed on a private golf course and set off illegal fireworks. Apparently, there’s “nothing better to do in Greenwich.” The fireworks were gorgeous but it was the adrenaline rush from nearly getting caught that really left an impression. I was absolutely certain the police were going to come. Stayed overnight at my friend’s place, and again, amazing water pressure in the shower. Why can’t I live in an actual house?

I’m really glad I got out of the city yesterday, but I’m totally regretting the lack of sleep. I’m a complete zombie at work right now. I started drinking coffee again last week and really need to stop because having to quit it every few months is wreaking havoc on energy levels. I’m having a cup right now and maybe tomorrow, but that’s it. Really. I’m also one lighter short of being a smoker. I have two rules to discourage smoking: 1) I’m not allowed to buy cigarettes, and 2) I can’t carry a lighter. Basically, I can only smoke what’s offered to me. Way, way too much tobacco this past weekend. Totally done after I finish the YSL pack my pal grabbed for me overseas.

Needless to say, laying off alcohol until I finished the proposal was an overly ambitious goal. This weekend, I’ve had multiple glasses of red wine, tons of beer, mimosas, a too-spicy Bloody Mary, an icky-sweet cocktail at Hiro, champagne, and a Frangelico martini, the first such request the OTTO bartender has received in ten years. This week, I have plans for drinks every single night until Sunday. Lunches are all booked up too. Apparently, every single person I’ve ever met in life has decided to come to the city this week. Not even going to try to make it to next week sober.

My new diet, based off the past five days: cake (in cup form and otherwise), vodka, Special K, cigarettes, makeshift sandwiches, caffeine in lieu of sleep. Yeah, I’m basically going to die.

URGENT: Kate Spade Online Sample Sale

Filed under: Kate Spade, Recommendations, Shopping — Elle June 12, 2007 @ 12:40 pm

Get her while she’s hot. Kate Spade, my favorite accessories designer, is selling her wares for 65% off on her website. This is the link to the sample sale. You can’t beat these prices anywhere. The gems among the offerings:

Nylon Sam with Tab, $89
A classic and the only nylon Spade I own (I think the rest are uninspired)

Fulham Melanie, $169
Simple, understated, surprisingly affordable for a classy find.

Wellesley Quinn, $189
My favorite of the six Kate Spades I own. Grabbed it this spring just because it fit my 12″ Powerbook and magazines length-wise.

Foster’s Crossing Panel Cami, $257
I prefer this in white to black. Great shape, love the straps/gold hardware.

Gawker’s Jezebel To Cure “Larger Societal Cancer” Cosmo Caused

Filed under: Recommendations — Elle May 21, 2007 @ 4:58 pm

Damn Gawker Media for their pioneering of all that is fresh, witty, and smart in the blogosphere. Their newest venture, Jezebel, is a women’s magazine done right … on crack. Not quite Jane (pre-Pratt departure), not quite Us Weekly, Jezebel strives to “take all the essentially meaningless but sweet stuff directed our way and give it a little more meaning, while taking more the serious stuff and making it more fun, or more personal, or at the very least the subject of our highly sophisticated brand of sex joke.” Did someone say sex? I’m in.

From the powdery white appearance of its editors, Jezebel looks like the cocaine to Gawker’s marijuana. And whoever told me gateway drugs are harmless was clearly never sucked into performing all of the Top 10 Mac OS X Tweaks. It’s been a day and I already love silly Jez. A gal who has the balls to rip off consignment shops with re-labeled H&M certainly deserves a spot on my blogroll and RSS feed reader.

But let’s not forget that there is one Very Important Message that Jezebel will be sending about the Cosmo clique via rampant Lindsay Lohan coverage and undercover vaginoplasty stories:

The big meta lie is that this is one big postmodern joke on which we are all in. And that all the surreality and celebphemera and retail therapy is harmless escapism, that it has always been this way, that it is not symptomatic of some sort of larger societal cancer. The big lie is that we haven’t let the norms of the celebrity-sartorial complex seep into the way we see everything in the world, perpetuating the notion that all of life is high school, and the pretty people are the only ones worth your attention, and that alpha girls are entitled to act cruel and inhuman towards their subordinates, and that all the world would be that way anyway. Because it wouldn’t. And though we’ve found women’s magazines to be a fairly trusty engine of hilarious tidbits, it is not all one big joke.

Wait, so living like a Sex and the City character is an unhealthy thing? Fuck.

Shakespeare in the Park

Filed under: Recommendations — Elle May 2, 2007 @ 4:36 am

Tired of the same old dates? Check out a classic production with an unorthodox setting. My blockmates are producing and stage managing Romeo and Juliet, which goes up this weekend at Adams Courtyard. What more could you ask for out of ARTS FIRST? I’m attending the Sunday evening show (but still lacking a date at the moment!)

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